Building Relationships with Children

Ed Brackenbury

Prague Christian Library

March 2002

Makes the problem the enemy, not the parent or teen

 

Uncovers hidden issues that lie behind the problem

 

1.      Identify the problem.

2.      Share thoughts and feelings and acknowledge your teen’s thoughts and feelings

3.      Generate solutions and future guidelines together (within limits that you as a parent can live with)

4.      Decide on logical consequences if needed

5.      Follow up to make sure agreements were kept (and to enforce logical consequences as necessary)

 

Logical Consequences Guidelines

 

1.      Ask the teen to help decide the consequence.

2.      Put the consequence in the form of a choice.

either/or choice

when/then choice

 

3.      Make sure the consequence is logically connected to the misbehavior.

4.      Give choices that you can live with.

5.      Keep your tone of voice firm and calm.

6.      Give the choice one time, then enforce the consequence.

7.      Expect testing (it may get worse before it gets better).

8.      Allow the teen to try again after experiencing the consequence.

Active Parenting of Teens

Active Parenting Publishers Inc.

From Leader’s Guide pg. 102


Parenting Adolescents

Menlo Park Presbyterian Church

Menlo Park, CA – USA

 

A Philosophy of Discipline – Six Broad Guidelines

 

1.      Define the boundaries before they are reinforced.

2.      When defiantly challenged, respond with confident decisiveness.

3.      Distinguish between willful defiance and childish irresponsibility

4.      Reassure and teach after the confrontation is over.

5.      Avoid impossible demands. Be absolutely sure that your child is capable of delivering what you require.

6.      Let love be your guide. Trust God for the impossible.

 

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