Krzysztof and Elzbieta Pawlusiow
Prague,Czech Republic
May 2007
Love language is at its core
simply the way we want to be loved. It is a preferred way of expressing love to
others and having it expressed to us. When others - a spouse, family or friends
- communicate love in a way that is desired by us, we feel loved. When they do
not express such love or do it in other ways that we don’t fully comprehend,
there is a deep need to feel loved that develops in every man or woman.
Therefore, when trying to
discern your own love language and/or love languages of people around you, pay
attention to the following:
What
particular ways do you (they) usually express love to others?
What
particular ways would you (they) like others to express love to you (them)?
What
do you (they) ask for most often?
What
do you (they) express thanks for most often?
What
do you (they) reminiscent about most often?
What
do you (they) complain about most often?
What
lifts your (their) mood up?
What
kind of behaviors hurt you (them) most?
Answers to those questions will
provide you with important clues about which one of five love languages
(affirmation, time, gifts, service (help) or touch) is your primary or
secondary one.
Five languages of love and
communication
Process of communication:
I know you think you know what I meant when I said that, but I don’t know if you know that what I said is not exactly what I meant.
Key principle: In effective communication it
is not so important what you wanted to say, but rather how what you said was
really understood.
Key principle in expressing love: In a loving and fulfilling
relationship it is not so important how much love you feel for another person
or how many various things you do to express it, but rather how many of those
behaviors are seen as a loving expression by your spouse or family member and
how much he or she feels loved by you.
The most effective approach: to learn the other person’s love language and express the love in a way that is understandable to him or her.
